never invite a jew to a press event if you can't even offer her an apple juice

pretend you are hosting a big event and you want to invite members of the press to it - what would you do?

first you would probably make sure that the event is pressworthy i.e. not some shit fashion parade in a wanky bar with a feigned line outside. that is not an event - that is every saturday night in manhattan.

you then want to make sure that the members of the press are well taken care of to better your chances of positive coverage. drinks, nibbles, common courtesy, whatever.

what you should not do is invite press, throw a lame event, not offer your guests anything and treat people like turds. and, unless you really want to put the icing on the crap cake, do not have a busted debit machine and then tell someone in the press that if they want an apple juice they should go to the 7-eleven. excuse me? AN APPLE JUICE. seriously, if you can't give a sista an apple juice then don't even send her an invite.

maybe if they realised i was a jew they would have been nicer. not just cause we are cheap, but also because there are more 'bergs' in hollywood than in all of the alps.